Birth Story: Short Version

Well here is the short version of the birth of our baby Chase.

The weekend started out with us going to our weekly appointment. We brought all of our "baby" things just incase. Our midwife Heather asked if we wanted to have a baby that weekend, we said yes! I thought it would be great to have a baby for Mothers day.  We went back to my brother place for the night anticipating the next day. They helped labor start by giving me some "herbal remedies" and natural stimulants. It started working! So this is Saturday afternoon, about 4:30 that we had gone in. contractions started and were getting steady. I continued to labor through the whole night. Time seemed to fly by for me, I was really shocked by that. I know it wasnt for all of our midwives and Brett though :) So 6:00 Am came on Saturday and labor still wasnt picking up, but it was still going. We tried walking, which oddly slowed everything down. I had started to run a fever by then. Chases heart rate would peak a little, so they decided some anitibiotics were in order. Thus the beginning of my endless IV pokes. I continued to labor for the next few hours. Now if I remember right,part of the problem why I wasnt progressing really well was the placement of my cervix? It seemed to float around, n ot really staying in the right place. Unfortunately this meant a lot of painful interventions.  They would check me during a contraction, and pull and twist on my cervix at the same time. Somehow I was able to withstand 12-15 of these throughout the day. I used the technique called "hypnobirthing" to help me through labor. Brett said he was surprised at how prepared I was, and how in control I stayed. Although my labor was slow, I was progressing at a consistant pace. I had reached a 7 I think, almost 8 and I decided to get into the warm water for relief. Once I did I felt crazy back pain. The midwives said they could actually feel the bulge of the baby on my back.  I had begun to become very emotional and overwhelmed at this point. It was going on 24 hours now. Brett and I began to have the feeling that we may need to transfer to a hospital. Something wasnt feeling right.Even though his heart rate was great, and there really were no problems.

They checkled me again and somehow the little guy had moved and I regressed back to 5 centimeters. He had moved out of position and we were almost starting over. We knew that was our moment, it was time to go. The midwives were great, really supportive. They called surrounding hospitals to find the right doctor for us. We decided to go to the University of Utah Hospital. Heather drove her car, Darby ( student midwife) drove hers and Brett drove me and Eve( student midwife) in the last car. Eve was great, I think I had about 5 contractions in the car, and she helped me through each one. We arrived and they were already expecting us. We got an epidural going and everything was calming down, I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It was now about 6 on  Sunday evening, I think.  Everyone left to get some lunch and I was able to relax... for a few minutes... I began feeling contractions again. I was having to use hypnobirthing through it again, I knew the epidural wasnt working. I was panicked and trying to call for the nurses but couldnt find the button. Finally I just took all the monitors off of me to get their attention, and it did! She assured me it was just the pitocin kicking in, and I would be feeling some pressure. I looked at her and said.. NO its not working... she looks up and says "oh they didnt turn your epidural on, let me get the anestesiologist back in here! " They got it going again and all was well :) I was able to fall asleep for a bit, but not much, mostly just close my eyes. I was now going on no sleep for about 32 hours. Myabe longer. they came in again at who knows what time and said I was almost ready! 9 centimeters! It was abour 2 am, on Monday I had missed my Mothers Day baby, who would have thought! Pushing started and I was truly exhausted. I was afraid that I was already too tired to do this! I had a great support system and Baby Chase was born at 6:12 Am on May 14th. Labor had begun May 12th.  Apparently the epidural had worn off too, and I had pushed for 2 hours without pain medication. Which I am greatful for, that was my original desire. When I think back on the whole experience, the pushing stage is what I remember the most. The intensity and sheer adrenaline I was running off of.He was born and it was amazing. Finally the end result of all of this! He was a trooper the whole time, had a great heart rate. I was at the final stage of exhaustion. The docto started calling for more pitocin for blood loss, and I started getting a little loopy. then an injection to slow blood loss, then they called the head OB. Apparently I had torn internaly and was bleeding quickly. I began to come in and out of consciousness. I received 3 more IVS, each had to be done twice, and they got everything under control. I could hear my baby crying the whole time and there was nothing I could do, but I knew Brett and the midwives had him so he was ok.

We were stablized and move to the recovery room. I had never felt an exhaustion quite like this before. To make a long story short. I continued to black out throughout the next day. Could hardly walk, and basically had to be carried to the bathroom. Obviously we had a hard time with feeding the first day or so. I was finally able to go to sleep at 1 in the morning on Tuesday.  Our baby ended up on anitbiotics, which was awful to see him with an IV. His IV went bad, so then they had to put one in his head, it brought me to tears to see. I still wasnt recoveing. I has no color to my skin, except a yucky yellow color. I would have "blackout" spells where I would not be able to talk and not be able to move or use any muscles.My blood was tested and it was decided I would need a tranfusion. I was told by a friend of mine who is an OB/GYN that a normal birth is a blood loss of about 300 ml ( not sure how accurate that is) it was estimated that I lost around 1200 ml. They brought in the "air meds" team to my IV for this, as I had so many IVS in there was no where else to put one! And even THEY had to do it twice! Ive never had an IV before in my life, that weekend, I got my lifetime supply.  The blood started pumping and I was already feeling better within hours.  We spent the next day recovering, and we were finally able to go home! In a stranger way I actually enjoyed our time in the hospital. It was just Brett and I and our new baby. Now that may not have been a really short version, but as I write more memories keep popping up! I didnt write this to " toot my own whistle" of what I had been through. It needed to be documented for myself :) We were finally able to go home on Thursday afternoon. It had been almost a week since we had left our house! We came home and slept :)

Well I wanted to get all of this written down before I forgot it all :) We have our first baby on the way! As of now I am 18 weeks and 3 days.... give or take 3 days haha!

So taking a picture of myself wasn't very easy! ( I really hate this picture of myself but I need it for posterity!) I wanted to get a picture at the earlier stages for comparison... oh well. At least I have this one now. So I have been feeling like I really show right now... after seeing the picture and hearing people over and over tell me im not showing.. I guess I'm STILL not showing hehe oh well. Guess I should be thankful for that!

 Well I wanted to get down on words how things have been so far:

 Well about 4 months ago I did start to feel different. Really the only two things that stuck out was feeling so overwhelming hungry and getting tired about mid-day. I had been putting off testing because I had been getting a lot of negative test previously. I was trying to forget about it, and it had worked.I did! So one day I just decided to test again. I put it off all morning, then finally in the middle of the day just decided to go for it. Got a positive result immediately! No need to wait the 1 min or 3 min, whatever it is. Just showed up right away! I really didn't believe it ( and still didn't for about 3 days after). I decided I need a digital test that actually said "pregnant". Brett  wasn't going to be home for another hour so I ran to WalMart. I literally jumped out into the car and sped over! haha. I think I knew deep down in my head it was real, and I felt excited. But still!! Yes I felt dumb going in an only getting a pregnancy test... so I decided to buy some oranges. Because buying oranges would make it so less obvious! HAHA  NOT! I'm sure the check out girl was laughing at me in her head :) So I got home, took the test and yep! Another quick positive! "pregnant!"

By now Brett was due to come home in 30 min. I texted him and told him "it would be great if you could be home right on time today". Haha!  I think he was still 10 min late... geez Brett!!! Just kiddin....
So I think I cleaned everything a human possibly can in 30 min. Dishes, swept, tidy'ed up..... I kept going through my head all the fun ways people break the news to their husband. I couldnt think of anything! Plus we were heading to a friends barbecue in 30 minutes! So I just waited patiently for him to come home. I saw him pull up and just sat at the table waiting for him. He came in the door, shouted out his usual " Im Hooooome!" I lost my nerves and started getting teary eyed sitting at the kitchen table. He came over and asked whats wrong( looking back I should have said something mean like, our dog just died! He is always teasing me, I should have used this to get back at him!) So I just told him I needed  him to come home right away. I pulled out the tests and showed him. I knew he wouldn't realize what the "double line" test was( perhaps that's also why I went and got a digital one) so I pulled out the other and showed and he just stared at them looked shocked, then smiled. Now I have to tell you, I have prepared Brett for this moment many times. Like I said, Brett is such a tease, so I told him he HAD to say something positive when this moment actually came. He looked up at me and said " That's so exciting!" I could tell by the way he said it really wanted to say OH CRAP! Haha. I started laughing and we both just laughed together. Well we had about 10 min to be at our friends barbecue, so we jumped in the car and left! haha!

It was kind of funny to show up there with this huge bombshell we just discovered. And to top it off, we had previously gotten a puppy.... 3 days earlier! So we got a brand new puppy... then got pregnant, hahah! It was a great memory, and we have had tons of fun with the excitement already. Even though we can find out the gender anytime, we have decided to keep it a surprise  until Christmas Day. We will have our next ultrasound on Dec 9th ( thanks to Scott and Erica!) We will wrap up the "results" and TRY to keep it a secret until Christmas.

                                                           13 weeks :)

         
  Our good friends Scott and Erica were nice enough to "hook us up" with an ultrasound. Brett was able to do it himself!

 I'm thinking my next post will need to be the video of me breaking the news to my family.. oh it is so great! Stay tuned!

A New Found Hope

 I am going to try and use this blog more. We will see how that goes! I could spend forever trying to catch up thi sblog on everything we have done the past year. But I am going to start with today( maybe do a flashback another day )

 I have always used thig blog to tell the good thing going on, tell about all the fun stuff, and maybe sometimes leave out the real things. Today I will be real.
 I mostly feel inclined to write today so that I can record my own feelings. I know I can do that in a personal journal or something, but at the same time, the things I am feeling are things to be shared!

 Lately I have struggled with normal human (girly emotional) struggles. :) Feelings of inadequecy, feelings of hopelessness. That I am just here to get through life. Feelings that I cant get through this on my own, so I guess its a lost cause. I should just give up and be happy with a mediocre life. Now I am not complaining of my life. I have a VERY blessed life right now. A great life, great husband, great family, a wonderful home, where I feel happy and safe. I am  not lacking in much right now. But what I had realized I was lacking in was spiritual nourishment. Now I have never been one of those people that was super dedicated to scripture reading, studying, praying and all of that. But  I guess recent questions and concerns have driven me to this, because I had no where else to go. I had exhausted all the other options. I didnt even think to turn to what I knew was the solution the whole time.

 It has only taken me a few days of putting in an honest effort, to feel the difference! What was I thinking before?? Even as I am writing this, i am realizing things I hadnt realized I was feeling before. I have never really understood the scriptures. Never really could relate them to myself. I have had spiritual highs throughout my life. im not saying that I have never felt the spirit or had a trstimony of the scriptures. Life crazy and sometimes you just get off the bandwagon! And I was off!

 This week I have put an honest effore into my scripture study and prayers. I dont want to stop now.
 The first day I read in the sciptures how we should pray through the guidance of the Holy Ghost. I didnt understand how that was possible. ( Mostly because I hadnt tried in a long time). I prayed to know how to do this. The next time was so inspiring. I now pray through the guidance of the Holy Ghost. I can finally express in my prayes exactly what I am feeling. Which has always been hard for me for some reason. I know how I am feeling but how do I put it into words?? I actually had phrases and words put into my mind, the exact words I had been searching to express.
 I have also learned the power of music. I always have some kind of music playing when I am home. Never bad music, just something to fill the silence. I have learned that listening to uplifting and soft, spiritual music ( not necessarily just hymns) is very inspirational. It instantly brings the spirit into my home, and helps make scripture study and prayer more meaningful. I dont know how ir works, it just does! It is almost instantaneous.
 I have learned how important it is to have the companionship of the Holy Ghost. For me, the best way to do that right now is through music. It is also by praying through the Holy Ghost. And as a consequence, he is there. The Holy Ghost has the piwer to guide our every action. Not tell us what to do, but help us make better decisions.
 I also, in only the last few days, I have felt an overwheming amount of hope. Just hope in being happy, and being loved. Finally having hope that I can have a real relationship with God again. I have a hope that iIcan overcome my small ( but seemingly huge to me) problems. I have hope that whatever comes, I really dont have to do it a lone. I now understand the concept of having "weak things be made stronger". While I havent been able to over come ALL of my weaknesses in a week, I can see it in the futures, and that is my hope. that I can see my goals in the future.  If we pray for strength to overcome our small weaknesses ( truly and earnestly) we will get it!

 Also, I dont feel that scripture study is a painful as it sounds haha. It is different for everyone. I tried going a long with a manual, and that didnt work for me. Sometimes I try to start from the beginning and go to the end. That doesnt always work for me either. I used to spend my mornings doing what I wanted. Checking emails, breakfast ( well I guess that ones OK) TV. I dont know, bascially just wasted away the morning. But I have found my days to be sooooo much better, more uplifted, just plain HAPPIER when I spend, even just 30 min to trying to feel the spirit. Today I just decided to read about hope. I found a scripture and just kept reading after it. I ended up reading the last two chapters of 2 Nephi. Some of the scriptures that stood out to me.
2 Nephi 31:20 " Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a prefect brightness of HOPE, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward feasting upon the word of Christ and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father, Ye shall have eternal life."

2 Nephi 32 : 8-9   ....... "But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate they performance unto thee, that thy performance may be to the welfare of thy soul."

 Now I know this is a very different blog post than my others.  And like I said, I could have written this all in a personal journal ( which I am no good at ) so bacially its easier for me to type it lol. Plus I feel that these are all good things to share!

 Well thanks for sitting through that!

Giveaway!

My photo techer from BATC is doing an awesome giveaway! Heres the link!


phototips.alexismiller.com

A little Bit of Home

Heres just a little taste of my new hometown... Pretty huh?

Lifes a Little Crazy Right Now!

Life is taking a big turn for us but we are very excited! This weekend we are moving to Ephraim. Brett is going to be taking over his dads CPA business in the future, so we are making the move down! We will be staying in a couples house who are on a mission, and we are very grateful and excited! So now we are just frantically packing up stuff, getting everything read. Oh and today I graduate from Bridgerland in Media Design Technology! Woo hoo! Ok, I gotta go pack!

Never Thought This Day Would Come

Today is a day to be celebrated. I have completed a task that I never though possible. Through blood, sweat, and yes, tears I have finally completed my Computer Literacy class! I wanted to give you a little taste of what this class is like. First of all this is a class for learning all of the Microsoft Word programs. It truly has been a beneficial class for me, I cant deny that. But who knows when I will need to create a formula in Access with keyboard shortcuts to calculate the sum of the totals of cells G:2 through cells G:12 then import it into Excel to create a graph(perhaps a 3d Pie chart with default 2-d style) then go back to access and change my formulas then back to excel to update my links then import my pie chart into powerpoint and apply the bevel style, apply transitions and smart art graphics to my bullets then print everything as handouts with 6 per page in black and white. (Oh wait, I forgot to capitalize the "C" in charts, gotta start over.)So glad I am learning all of this to be a photographer.That could come in handy someday.

Let me break this down for you.

We start with one assignment. These assignments take no less than twenty minutes and can easily take up to an hour.

Each assignment is usually more than one page, this particular one is seven pages.

My lovely teacher required that assignements also be saved on the school computer drive so she can look at them "up close" so I had to write the file destination starting from 'My Computer' on every page( which you can see on the bottom of this paper)..... plus my name, my class, the unit, the exercise, and the exact bullet number on EACH page, so she doesnt get confused :) Now this class is done through the business department, where they are very particular about the work. It was not uncommon for me to have to "fix"my mistakes which were usually me mistyping a word, or putting an extra space between my numbers.


So now from here we go to units. There are five assigments per units.

There are 4 units per section, at five assignments per unit, equalling 20 assignments. Here is one unit worth of work.

So now we put it all together: one assignment-30 min 5 assignemnts per unit, four units per section. There are 12 sections.I will let you do the math on that one.....

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* keep in mind, one assignment can be up to 7-10 pages...

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But dont worry, it all condenses to one nice stack:

Well I came out of the class with an A-. Propably from all of the evil stares I gave her;)